A little blip on tail end of 2007.... and 2008!

I have received a few inquiries as to why my blog posts have been a little slim these last few months. Well, in short "my doings" have increased a little more and my writing time has shifted a little more towards some other events. Since my last posting, I have worked with my local legion post and gathered winter clothing for the less fortunate in the local winter shelter. Great event taking in nearly $3000 in colder climate clothing to help out those who have fallen on harder times. I made a trip to Detroit, Michigan on business and spent 3 weeks in a training program where I could learn to help veterans. More on that later. Our local, surrounding area got hit pretty bad during the San Diego fires and there were events going on to help others during that time. I spent my Christmas holiday working with folks at the Veterans Winter Shelter here in San Diego, CA including gathering donations and serving food on Christmas Day! Nothing feels better than giving back to others, especially on the holidays! These are just a few of my happenings. The main things are that I am still in the arena of helping. I still believe that we all can help someone and a lot of times it comes down to desire. I have seen homeless people still spend their time helping others within their capabilities. Sort of weird to see, but it is truly a mindset. A mindset that I wish we all could share. In the meantime, I am going to keep trucking along and doing what I can to help out. Hopefully, 2008 will provide me a little more scheduling stability to help others via these posts. Well, I wish everyone a safe, happy, and prosperous New Year! I challenge all to ask yourself daily, what can I do to make the world a better place? Then act! Only then are you really in the arena of "Service Above Self". Blessing to you all!

Free Wheelchair Mission

I heard this on a local television news broadcast and could not miss passing it along. Retired NFL Quarterback Jay Schroeder is one of the spokespersons of this worthy cause. Here is the press release from the actual website. If you want to look more into it, check it out at http://www.freewheelchairmission.org/ . Another way that someone is looking at the world, looking at a need, spending the time to explore, creating a vision, taking action, and helping others!




PRESS
Press Releases - 2007

FREE WHEELCHAIR MISSION TEAMS UP WITH SURF CITY USA® MARATHON FOR THIRD YEAR
November 9, 2007 Thousands Including Former NFL Quarterback Jay Schroeder to Run for Those Who Can’t in “Run for Mobility”

Free Wheelchair Mission Celebrates Orange County Culmination of Cross-Country Cylce - Ride for Mobility
June 8, 2007 There are more than 100 million disabled people in the developing world who have no access to wheelchairs due to poverty and economic isolation.

Free Wheelchair Mission and Reader's Digest Partner in 3,000-Mile Cycle for Cause, Ride for Mobility
March 14, 2007, MarketWire - Entitled Ride for Mobility, the grassroots educational and fundraising campaign was developed to help spread Free Wheelchair Mission's message throughout the country and to raise funds to purchase 15,000 wheelchairs.

Robert August and Free Wheelchair Mission join forces in Costa Rica!
Free Wheelchair Mission has partnered with Robert August, surf industry icon and star of the groundbreaking surf film Endless Summer (1965).

Running for a Mission!
January 17, 2007 Scheduled for Super Bowl Sunday, February 4, 2007, the marathon will attract thousands to the shores of Huntington Beach.

Stolen Valor will never overshadow those who act in Service Above Self

On this blog, I observe and put out ways that readers can act in efforts that are “Service Above Self” efforts for the common good. Today, I came across a video on-demand from an ABC News Story that grabbed my attention and reminded me of the other side of the fence where perpetrators of selfish acts that con, scam, hustle, and so forth stain the acts of those who try to live their lives under the banner of “Service Above Self”. So, let’s categorize this article as my rant on “Stolen Valor”. Let start with the video. Here it is.



In all walks of life there are folks who portray themselves as something they are not for personal gain. We see it on the political front all the time. Politicians, within all political parties, that take a connection to something military and attempt to “spin it” with a political paintbrush that makes it appear that they were at the tip of the spear or carried the sweat of battle only to dig a little deeper and find out that they were not all that they elude to be. However, these gentlemen shown in the video are definite criminals in my book. The last one in the video, the 23 year old, who never even completed boot camp and attempted to parlay his extremely limited experience in camouflage into an elaborate tale of the negatives of war in order to feed his “anti-war” sentiment is definitely the worst. The saddest part of it is that the fact he participated in boot camp, despite his feeble inability to complete, shows that he probably isn’t even passionate about his “so called” anti-war message and is merely looking for fame on the back of the others who served. Truly sad. Here is a pretty good ripping of the last guy’s credentials from HotAir.com. I like how it plays out in the end. A little disclaimer is in order: I never take anything that anyone posts as complete 100% fact. I am sure that HotAir.com has other topics and such that do not align with my beliefs. That being said, this individual video is a noteworthy discussion of the guy in the first video from ABC.



When I was a substance abused counselor for the Navy, I saw guys spin all kinds of yarns in order to acquire services that they thought they wouldn’t have otherwise received. Truly sad. And, frankly some had perpetuated the tales for so long that it appeared “clinically” that they began to believe their own stories. Of course, we fished and got the facts as part of the process, but I did see this more than once. It just showed me the real sadness of it. Hustlers or scammers are in every corner of our world and there is no difference here. Whether it is an attempt to justify a political stance, undeserved financial gain, or just unwarranted status in the world, the insecurities and negative drive of these people brings out the worst.

Now, you can’t think about these acts without looking closer to home and possible things that go on around us. Without going off the deep end and commencing a surveillance mission regarding the service credentials of everyone we interact with, why not start out with the behavior. The ironic question is… do we float around folks who tout ribbons, medals, and campaigns that they haven’t earned or took part in? Probably. Is it any different? We may know these people and consider them “good people” based on all their other traits and probably find their rants harmless. However, it is really not any different. The difference is in how we handle it. Should we call them on it? Yes. But, there is a kind way to do it. Remember, the point is to stop the behavior or action and not to use their mistakes as a personal tool to place ourselves above them. That just makes us look bad for attacking them when there might be a piece of information that we have missed. Give them a chance to prove it. If they can’t prove it and persist, then, of course, subtle peer pressure might be the key. Nowadays, thanks to the “information superhighway” or shall we say the “galactic information spaceway” you can get military records, listing of awards and medals, and many other bits of information online. On the personal front, I have met several guys like this in my life and what I tend to do is simply be aware. The truth usually unravels itself in conversations with those who have earned the merits, given of themselves, and have been there.

You know I would be remiss if I didn’t mention an incident I was part of where I saw how these things can play out in these casual discussions. I was once (sort of) on the other side. I was approached by a person who attempted to “put me in check”, so to speak, only to find out in further discussion that the dispute was easily cleared up and got totally blown out of proportion. We were both in the military and he “outranked” me and it really appeared that his approach was more of a front to make himself look better than it was to clear up an error. I call those moments “insecurity alerts” when I see folks take advantage of things in an obvious attempt to catapult themselves to a higher position because they do not appear comfortable with their own self. Oh well…The guy had a need and he thought he found it by interjecting in my conversation and trying to put pressure on me for something that he wasn’t really on top of himself. In the end, the guy took the worst end of it, because he came at me with such forceful and offensive behavior instead of striking up a conversation with a simple, “Hey, bud! Did I hear you right?” and seeking out the facts which could have cleared it up before he embarrassed himself. Unfortunately, the guy was so embarrassed by the incident that he quit coming to the establishment that we had seen each other at for years until I saw him at the base and asked him to stop back by. I could have really overacted over the incident and took offense and all that stuff, but in the end, it just wasn’t that important to lash back. I think he probably conducts himself quite different in those situations now. I remember the situation because it was a growth experience and others associated with me at that time spoke of it as well.

Although, these “closer to home” examples are similar situations, the people depicted in the video at the beginning of the article are on the gross end of the scale and really need to be put in check. In my opinion, they need to be handled in a manner that bruises their pocketbook or shames them into never doing it again and becoming an example for others. The guys portrayed on the video really take things to a whole new level. I am sure that their charisma and rapport with those around them presented them in a fashion where they could probably have pulled off any identity fraud that they chose. The “anti-war” guy was really disheartening and I am sure that he will live to regret his “performance” for years to come.

So, what is the moral? What’s the point? What can we do?

- Be aware. Hustlers and scammers exist, they will use whatever they can to achieve their goals and get what they want, even if it takes posing at phony war vets.
- Discuss service credentials openly. If someone mentions something that doesn’t seem right, ask them about it.
- Pass the word! If they persist to misrepresent themselves, let others know.
- Question credentials! If a person uses service credentials for financial contributions or support beyond good deeds, to name a few, you have the right to verify those credentials and should do so.
- Report them! If they are grossly fraudulent and are committing a criminal act of fraud, then turn them in for the criminal act.
- Don’t let the actions of others deter you from acts in “Service Above Self”!

Further readings about “Stolen Valor” can be found at the following sites that I found interesting:

• Stolen Valor - How the Vietnam Generation Was Robbed of its Heroes and History (Quick Guide to Obtaining Military Records)


• Stolen Valor Act or 2005 - Excellent site with lots of info! See the proposed Congressional Bill and who supports it!

My September 11th Rant... Good Deeds & Positive Thoughts to Show Our Strength!

Friends,

September 11th is nearing. Are you ready? Will the day just come and go? Will you look towards tragedy or gratitude and which will drive you through the day?

Reflections. One of the first entries I made in this blog was related to September 11th after 5 years and all the reflections that were taking place and the stand that some folks were making. If you would like to revisit that article, click here. September 11th will always be a fateful day in our history, where we as a nation, were violated from within. Taken by surprise, stripped of our “untouchable” presence in the world, and emotionally held hostage while it all unfolded. It is hard to believe that it happened, even to this day. Personally, I will never forget that time in my life even though I was on the opposite coast of the immediate tragedies. Where were you? I was still in the Navy and working for the Substance Abuse Treatment Center located at Point Loma, San Diego, helping care for residential patients dealing with their substance abuse issues. We happened to have a TV in one of the offices and we watched the events happen. We were all counselors trained in understanding emotional and behavioral issues and I think we learned a great deal about our own internal make-up that day. The following days were challenging to say the least. I was a senior person at work charged with some duties of patient care and assisting with oversight for a 7 story building. Only one third of the military were able to be there at work the following day and none of the civilian employees where allowed on base at all. I literally got a work out that day from answering phones and going throughout the building to ensure all was in good order and the patients were being taken care of. Not to mention it took an hour just get on the base. Other staff members started to trickle in on the following days, but digging into my work was the therapeutic process for me at that time. I didn’t have time to reflect at all. I stuck with dealing with the elements affecting others. It has been sometime since that day and I have taken it all in the best that I can. Since that time, I have accepted that it happened and moved forward. I went through a period of complete sorrow for the pain of others that were more attached to the locations and people directly affected, but many of them have grown into stronger souls in their own right and have inspired me to move forward. If you would like to take a few moments to reflect, here is a good website, September 11th.

Good Deeds = Good Vibes = Healthy for the Soul. Some folks are already geared up to put out their flags... but what about using just a few more minutes… probably just a couple at that… to do something positive. There is a new movement just for this occasion called “My Good Deeds” powered by Volunteer Match, Network for Good, Points of Light Foundation , & other organizations who have been putting out good vibes for years and are combining forces this year. MyGoodDeed.org asks that you “pledge” a good deed. It gives you ideas and ways to do good deeds and allows you to come up with ways on your own as well. You can have your own ideas posted (or not posted). The bottom line is that there is a concentrated focus on bringing out the best of us on that day.

Positive thoughts bring about positive results. Some say that our thoughts alone put out a powerful energy. The whole concept is much more scientific information than I can comprehend or even want to read about. But, this type of “intention manifestation” is the subject of one of the biggest best selling books called, “The Secret” and it stems from thinking that positive thoughts can send positive energy out for positive effects. I won’t bore you on the details that I read or I won’t even try to sound like I am an expert in the subject… the information is out there, the book is a great read for those who believe we are all more than a lump… but I really don’t think trying to send out positive thoughts that day could hurt either. I am going to do it. I am going to start my day with a cup of coffee and by making a list of those things that I am grateful for. I am going to write down about 5 things that I would like to see better in the world and call them my “wants”. Then, I am going to start the day fresh with a positive outlook. What could it hurt? Right now as you read this, I am attempting to send you a positive message... how am I doing? ;)

No time for political spinning that day. On that day, there will be many politicians who will focus on the events of 9/11 in order to sway a vote and they will be coming out in full force. They will use the backdrop of tragedy to profess they have a better plan for the world or tug at our heartstrings to find their place in our heart as a compassionate soul worthy of our vote. On that day, I don’t think they will get much of my attention as I will be focused on the positive and political strategies are designed to have you focus on the negatives and weaknesses in world. I am sticking with the positive and the strength that we have as a nation and as a people.

Negativity is not the choice that day. There will be many folks who will dwell on the heartache that day and generally it is because that is all they see. Possibly because they are experiencing some sort of heartache in their life or because they have a hard time finding positive in the world at all. Sometimes it is just because all some folks see is “what is in it for me?” and it drives everything they hear, everything they see, and everything they do. Bless their heart it is not their fault, they probably grew up with the thought process. There is nothing wrong with celebrating the life of people lost on that day or remembering the events of the tragedy, but would you want people to remember you and focus on sorrow? Or, would you want those left behind to never forget, learn from the tragedy, and make it stand for something that has affected each of us in a positive way? I know folks just like this and they don’t see it, but it comes out in almost everything they say and do. It generally is the reason why things are not going so well for them, because they don’t take the time to see the things that are going well. It is a fact of life and some folks live in it every day. So, I say re-evaluate your thought process and see if you are one of those folks. It is easier than you think. Sometimes it starts with a smile. Remember my first blog entry discovering the powerful aspects of a smile? Go back and check it out.

I am going to put my soapbox away for now, but I challenge you to think positive thoughts on September 11th, fly your flag proudly, turn off the politician’s rhetoric for a day, and focus on some good deeds that can help others and display the true positive strength that we have as Americans. It is my plan and I when I lay my head down that night regardless of what the day brings, I will rest easy knowing that I made an honest effort toward the good. Good intentions either way. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist background to realize that if one good thing comes from it, then it is well worth the efforts... even the thoughts and the smiles.

Celebrate life! We are all in it and we are all doing it one day at a time!

Have a great day and stay positive!

Your Friend,

Stew, aka "Tony"

eBay-ers Can Give Back While They Are Selling!

Recently, I came across a great organization while doing some eBay dealings online. The company is called MissionFish and you can learn more about them at there website located at http://www.missionfish.org/ OR through eBay's "Giving Works" program under the eBay Community area (Home > Community > eBay Giving Works ).

Let me kick this off by adding that this is not a commercial for eBay and I have nothing to do with them other than I use the service on occasion to buy and sell things. Most recently, I sold some items that I turned into cash for another charitable contribution to another organization. Just my way of trying to turn something into something food for charity. But, that is not what this article is about.

The message is to show you a way that you can give to others while you are focusing on selling through eBay (or whatever company or online service you use). If you are a person who sells things online, then doing it this way can also bring like-minded, good-hearted people to your product. Here is how it works.

Through Mission Fish, you can designate a particular percentage of the sale to go to a charity of your choice from the list of organization that use Mission Fish to assist them. Like for example, I tend to use "Operation Homefront" which is an organization that benefits military families. Here is their data:

The mission of Operation Homefront is to provide assistance with day to day issues for military families facing adversity so that deployed service members are not preoccupied by the crises at home and can focus on the War against Terrorism.Location: San Diego, CA 92120Web address: http://www.operationhomefront.net/

OK. So that is one of the charities I contribute to through Mission Fish, but that doesn't mean you have to choose them. There are many charities to choose from. Their information is provided through the Nationally acclaimed organization called, "Points of Light Foundation & Volunteer Center National Network". Here is their information for those who like to investigate things:

MissionFish and the Points of Light FoundationMissionFish is provided as a service to the nonprofit community by the Points of Light Foundation & Volunteer Center National Network. The Points of Light Foundation is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to engaging people and resources more effectively in volunteer service to help solve serious social problems. The organization collaborates and partners with community leaders to better recruit, manage and encourage volunteers to effect real change.To learn more about Points of Light Foundation programs, initiatives, and resources for leaders of volunteers, call or visit www.PointsofLight.org. To connect to volunteer opportunities in your community, visit 1-800-Volunteer.org.

Alright. So you now get the picture. But, here is the kicker. If you associate yourself with this giving experience, a shocking thing happens. You actual receive a marketing plus in that your products that you sell get featured on Mission Fish's website and your items get a little charity symbol associated with your listing on eBay. So, folks who see your good intentions are drawn to buy your products over those who are merely out to fill their own pockets. And it is like money you don't miss because if you set the percentage to like 10% the amount automatically comes out of the purchase price of the auction. The more people that are drawn to your item, the more auction bids come in to drive up the purchase price and then the more goes to charity. You achieve your initial goal of getting rid of that item and making some money, but you finish the scenario with a good feeling that you have also helped out others. I have used it 4 times so far and I really think it was the reason why my products sold over the other ones that were identical to mine. Auction bidders knew that I was turning the profit into charitable contributions for others. A definite win-win situation for everyone! Give it a try the next time you decide to buy or sell with eBay. After all, Giving Works! I am sure that other auction services will be using this service in the near future as well.

Storytelling brings out more than the story itself.

Whether you are part of a group, a network, an organization, a community, or just a large family, you have probably either been the focus of a rumor or a tall tale. Let me preface this rant as not in response to any particular rumor or tale currently circulating out there. This posting is not in dispute of any specific comment that might appear to need a defense for someone or some people. Nor, is it targetted to any individual or group out there specifically. To the contrary, this is just one man's thought process bubbling forward into words. Every once in awhile, in the groups that I volunteer and socialize with, I come across someone commenting on someone else's behavior, actions, or words spoken and I observe the course of the comment into a tale that can be compared to a graphic novel by the time it has run its course. It is just funny sometimes, but at the same time it can be pretty sad. I am a thinker. So, I take the time to look at things in a certain analyticaly way. Today, I have done that with "tall tales".

It's not always the message that tells the tale.
Sometimes the messenger or where you get the information tells an even bigger tale than what happened originally. Based on some of my work experience and academic background in counseling, psychology, and communications, I am given proof time and time again how merciless some folks can be and how some things that we would consider small and insignificant when they are right before us can be illuminated into tales of twisted torment, unusual cruelty, secretive exploits, lewd and lucivious conduct, foresaken morales, and harsh and menacing attacks. We may laugh, but you know it is true. It is often not that people are looking for a noose for hanging any person, but it is actually just a story that is spun depending upon factors that have nothing to do with the story itself. One person tells another. Of course, in a era when we all have such a short attention span, the teller must take just a little literary license to grab the other person's attention long enough to tell the story. Then, the next person adds just a little more to grab another's attention. And so on and so on. That's called the "life of the communication cycle." Just a fact of how things go on from one person to another.

Emotions play a part in storytelling.
The fact that a person's relationship with the subject of the story plays a part is always somewhat self-evident. For example, if the person doesn't care much for (or even down right doesn't like ) the person the story is about, then the exploits or damage done might just come out to sound a little more devastating than the reality of the situation. Or, if the storyteller isn't having such a good day that day, you know there has to be some avenue they can vent and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know it will come out in the story. One example is called "passive aggressive" behavior, where a person has their own demons going on inside them from depression, insecurities, anger, or just not at their best, and it comes out in everything that they do. Sometimes folks don't even realize they are doing it. Sometimes it can be hurtful and regretted later, but done while they are totally unaware because they are at odds with those feelings that are tormenting them. Another way is "transferrence" in which the storyline reflects something in the past of the story teller (or even the receiver) and parts are automatically assumed due to their experience of the situation or fragments of it. This happens alot. Often times, it is fed by our short attention span. We assume a great deal so that we don't have to hear it all or we are emotionally attached to a part of story and just assume that whatever is being discussed was "exactly" what has happened to us. The unfortunate nature of things, is that this is only true in a small percentage (probably less than 1%) of the time because everyone handles things differently, (unless it is completely scripted) all interactions are different, different people are part of the situations, days and times are different, and so forth and so forth. All these variable play a significant role in story telling, even under the radar (or not noticed) by the story teller and receiver. Shoot! There is one communication study that tells us that words in general only make up a fraction of the message between two people when conversing back and forth. There are so many other elements involved.

Take what you hear at face value for what it really is.
Look, if you are like me, you take comments about people in general at a "less than face" value. Even the kindest or the wisest of people can be caught off guard one day and add just a little more animation to a story that puts the subject person in a worse light than they deserve. So, objectivity and understanding are probably the best methods of ensuring truth and avoiding ill practices that can hurt others. Go into a conversation with the attitude that it happened to someone else and even if we have a history with some of it, this experience is unique. Realize the story teller may be adding a little to the tale and seek out the parts that are closer to facts. Sometimes, you hear the story from more than one source and you can easily tell what is consistent and what is "window dressing". If you are story teller, realize that if the facts of the tale are not enough to grip the other person's attention, then the story just plain isn't worthy to tell and everytime you tell it and add on to it, there is another person who sees beyond the story and mentally jots you down as a "teller of tall tales" and waters down your credibility for those stories that you are more committed to in the future. Just a fact of life!

Does this mean if you hear someone has done something illegal, don't tell anyone? Of course not, tell the appropriate people what you know. Stick with the facts only. If you heard it from someone, then explain that you heard it and let them know who to contact.

Does this mean if someone has done something that is harmful to themself or others, including telling a tall tale when you know the facts, you should just let it go? Well, that is a tough one. If you are to confront them, I would do so individually as not to publically put the story teller down. However you decide to do it, do it with a calm attitude and an objective outlook. It is not a crusade, but you can let them you know that you were there and just wanted to make sure that they got the right facts so that they don't look bad telling the wrong story. If it doesn't work, then let it go. At that point, it is their credibility at stake... not yours. But, in your own mind, rest assured that you have the benefit of knowing the truth.

There are many other scenarios. And no "cookie cutter" way of handling things is appropriate. As with anything that relates to people, emotions, and attitudes, each situation can be different. The best case scenario is that you don't tell these type of stories or at least you are now aware of all the other ingredients that are a part of stirring the pot.

This is just one guy observing how things take place around him. As with anything, I have seen it time and time again and one particular tall tale just reminded me about some notes I had about this particular subject and thought I would share. I am sure I am not the most articulate writer, but consider this just cranial overflow from an everyday observer of people. After all, I am sure there are lurkers and observers of my words, actions, and behvaiors. It is just human nature. Have a great day and an even greater life!

Long time, no post.. but things going well!

Well, I must say that it has been a long time since I posted on my own blog. Shame on me!
Anyway, here is some reflections at this moment in time. My last post talked about job loss and those close to me probably thought I was doing a self-reflection on my situation because I had my military retirement ceremony just ten days prior to the posting. In reality, I wasn't really looking for a job. I was still on vacation for a long time and enjoying the fruits of my labors and the rewards of my 20 years of sacrifices from my service. No worries. I have a website that let's me dabble in some artwork and sell those items which does well. I have been volunteering non-stop helping homeless veterans and others and I continue on that path. Just like I did when I was in the military. When I was inport, I was hunting ways to help! Just who I strive to be. I have taken a few trips, enjoyed a few guests, and begun to share some great times with some great people and even greater family members. I have taken part in events that I had generally missed during my times at sea and just have really been enjoying myself. I have re-entered the job market and am narrowing down the selection. So, things are going well. The last post was in fact a response to plea from a few others who complain that they lost their jobs and just don't know what to do. I will let that post speak to the merits of that situation, but I can safely say that the unfortunate nature of the world, (not just right now, not just the current job market, etc.) is that we are part of an ever-evolving community. Technology advances, techniques advance, jobs change, and so forth. Therefore, just to compete it takes perserverance that is not just given to a person. It takes an objective look at oneself and the world around them. I have used this statement many times and it rings true in this scenario: if you are looking to make the world conform to what you want without a touch of giving in or giving back, then good deals pass you by and you will find yourself struggling. It may be a long time and it may be a hard road. So, I offer instead of trying to force the world to conform to you, then learn about the world and about those areas that influence what you want and see where you fit so that you can strengthen your position, your knowledge, your skills, and abilities to make you the best candidate or poise yourself for striking out on your own. Whichever is not easy, but the rewards in the end are worth it. Anyway, enough of that! You know who you are and there are several and I don't type anything that I don't tell a person in conversation as well. To them, I say good luck and keep your head up!

So, let's play catch up! I completed a semester of graduate study in the spring and will be doing some more coursework in the fall. I have been taking other instructional courses along the way related to business topics that I enjoy. I was recently elected as Vice Commander for American Legion Post 434 in Chula Vista, CA and I have been having a ball. We supported the San Diego Veterans Stand Down and it was a big success. I started a little late, but was still able to hone in on the gracious support that our members always provide to these worthwhile events. This year, we collected about $3,000 in clothes which really helped out the homeless veterans of San Diego. Plus we served food, volunteered right and left. It was a very rewarding time. You can read more about it by punching it in the search engine here.
Also, I got the chance this year to entertain my family. First, my parents traveling from Kansas for my retirement ceremony and my Aunt and Uncle traveling from San Francisco for those same events. It was a great time! I had just regained contact with my Uncle Forrest and Aunt Cheryl and really enjoyed seeing them again. We took in the sites of San Diego and had a blast! Then, just recently my sister and her family flew in from Kansas as well. I have 3 nephews and let me tell you it was a treat to have them here. We hit Sea World, downtown, beaches, the fair, and on and on. We went to a Padres game and just did as much as we could fit into a week. I really enjoyed it all and know that they did as well.
These are a few of those things that I did not have the ability to do when I was active duty and traveling alot. These are also the things I had been doing to occupy my time until now. I sort of waited until all these festivities were over to throw my hat in the job market ring. The beauty of life after "service", you can still serve and there are plenty of ways to do it, but you can do it at your own pace. And, the national defense is not at risk of your efforts. ;)
Oh well... things are going good!

Picking up after job loss

O.K. You’re out of work. You are not bringing any money into your life and you are feeling like a failure. Before we go any further, give yourself a break! If this fits your current situation, then you are probably pretty tense right now. Make yourself comfortable in your chair (or wherever you may be right now). Take a deep breath. Let it out. Shake it off. And let’s read on and see what we can do.

Did you know that most people never keep the same job forever? There is a growing population of people who change jobs several times in the life of their workforce careers. Whether they don’t like to stick with one type of job or they find themselves ever evolving with the changes of the world’s workforce, some people work with their professional radar constantly set for the next conquest. Now, that’s O.K. for some. However, for others, especially those of the older generation, landing that one job and clinging to it for “as long as it lets you”, provides that sense of security needed to keep you going. When you lose that job, it can seem somewhat devastating. I was taught about “Grief and Loss” years ago. I was a counselor for military substance abuse patients and “Grief and Loss” was one of my lectures which I facilitated discussion among patients, many going through these spots of depression which led them to alcohol abuse and other substances. While we reflected upon “Grief and Loss”, we learned from our group discussions and from many studies and literature out there, that for men the “loss of a job” can be the most devastating issue for them to deal with. It can generate feelings of failure, helplessness, and utter loss of self. Is that you? Is that someone you know? O.K. We’ve taken that first step of “awareness”.

What can a person do in that situation? What can others do to help?

Well, at this point, we probably realize that a problem is before us and we need to do something about it. If you are a person in this situation, then you need to make some choices. The first choice that you must make is the choice to not be a victim of your own actions. Woah! That sounds like a pretty loud statement, huh? Let me explain it. It is really not as insensitive as it seems. What I mean by not becoming a victim of your own actions is simply not getting wrapped up in too much self-pity to the point where you are no longer capable to handling the pressure. The pressure that we apply to ourselves more than others apply to us. In order to make it through this period of your life, you really need clarity. You need to have the ability to take advantage of opportunities that may come your way. Drinking too much steals the clarity from you and generally takes “the bottle” to a place where it is less than a social event, but more of an escape. Not saying go cold turkey, but during this period of time, you may want to consider a little less while you are fishing for opportunities. It makes you more approachable to those who may want to help and ensures that you maintain control while you are searching. If you are a friend of someone in this situation, the thing that you can offer more than any loans, free beers, or other temporary fixes, is listening to your friend’s concerns, supporting any new ideas they may have by providing them “true and honest” feedback (don’t just agree, you are not really helping them), and gear all of your support towards ways that they can help themselves. We caretakers generally have the immediate desire to rally the troops and pick that person up and hold them there until they can walk again, so to speak. That is all good, but the most help a person can give to another person is open door of opportunity where the person has the ability of “self-accomplishment”.

Alright, now look at the financial situation. Are you at a place in your life where you must work to survive? Are you at a place in your life that you can survive without a job by cutting bills, eating out a little less, stop smoking, etc. etc.? All that is implied here is for you to question whether or not you have a firm grasp on your financial situation. I know people who work, have always worked, and just think that it is the normal thing they are supposed to do. They become oblivious to their complete financial health as long as they keep brining money in. Some of them actually have enough money that don’t even have to work. It can be a big pill to swallow when you reach the point when you either can’t do the job because of an injury or reach that age where the job changes and you don’t change with it resulting in leaving your job. Even some folks who still feel that they need to work to survive, may find that with a little financial strategies and cutting back, they can still live comfortably. Imagine the freedom knowing that you can live comfortably and then if you want to take on a new job later at your own pace, you can without the urgency of survival. Only you know your own situation. We’ll talk about money more specifically in another posting. There is an author out there with a series of great books regarding personal finance. David Bach has many books but there are two that I have enjoyed the most. I have seriously enjoyed them because they were easy to read and written in a way to talk to me and not over my head.
The Automatic Millionaire (David Bach)
Start Late, Finish Rich – A No-Fail Plan for Achieving Financial Freedom At Any Age (David Bach)

Also, if you are a computer person, there is a website that I enjoy and listen to their weekly podcast online: MyWealthMatters.com . Jeff Wright and Leslie Perry are two extremely down to earth people. They answer emails regarding personal finance questions. From life situations like job loss to specific areas of concern. They really know what they are doing and they convey that in their shows.

So, you’ve look at your financial situation and determined that you must have another job. Now you have determine what you can do. If you are a person who left your job because of an injury and illness that has left you unable to perform like you used to then it is time to reevaluate your “professional profile”. Everyday, we see news stories or hear about folks who have been challenged by life situations and overcome the many various shortcomings because they acquire a vision, a positive attitude, and are not afraid to take action. We see folks who lose an arm or a leg, lose eyesight or hearing, and many other afflictions, but through their personal perseverance and individual choices overcome these situations and are a true testament to the human spirit. So, what makes a person who loses their job any different? That is the key and goes back to what I was talking about when I mentioned being a victim of ourselves. Remember, taking no action is a choice in itself and therefore, it is an action.

Alright, the professional profile. What skills or knowledge (your strengths) do you have right now? Seriously, sit down with a piece of paper and brainstorm. Make a list. You may surprise yourself. Go back as far as you can and look at what you have learned in life. Don’t trick yourself by thinking ahead and not putting everything down. Just list them as you can think of them. By specific. Don’t put broad topics like job titles, put down skills that you are confident that you know. When you are done, take a look at it. You can add more later, but right now reflect upon what you know. If you have been honest and completed this exercise as I have written it, you probably are sitting there with a long list of your skills. You should be proud!

Now, guess what? Go through that list and highlight the items on that list that you feel that you can no longer accomplish in your present condition. Don’t worry! You are not eliminating these skills. They are within you and the knowledge you have of them stays with you. Go ahead. Highlight those.

O.K. If you’ve done that, I want you to look at those specific items. You have the knowledge, but you can not physical accomplish the tasks for those items. But, could you train anyone else to do those tasks? Could you write out a step-by-step plan to accomplish those items? Do you have enough knowledge of those skills to continue to improve how they are done or the resources used to accomplish them, even if you don’t physically do the task anymore? Now we have done that for two reasons. The first is the easiest, the ones not highlighted are your set of skills that you can use to start combing the help wanted section of the newspaper or online. Yep, it can lead to many applications and pounding the pavement to just get a job to keep things going. Or, you may land a better job depending upon the effort you put into it.

The other reason is to get a vision of what knowledge you have and the vast possibilities before you. Guess what? You are developing a possible new career. Knowledge is like a bank. There is always someone looking to tap into it. It is a matter of how and where you decide to make your knowledge available. You could write a book. Nowadays, you can almost publish for free with online companies like Cafepress.com and so forth. You could write a blog like this one that you are reading right now. You can teach. You can manage and come up with your own workforce. It doesn’t really have to be you turning the wrench or hammering the nail or typing the document and so forth. You have the techniques and the knowledge. You can share it with others. Of course, these are only suggested ideas. I agree for most, it is a scary place when you leave that “comfort zone” that came with that everyday routine of your past career. But, the rewards are so great if you step out of that zone and focus yourself on making things happen. Call it your next chapter. Not your recent setback.

With that in mind, take your previous list and do one more list. Come on! What have you got to lose? Put the previous list on the table with you because you will be looking it over several times while you do this one. With a fresh, new piece of paper, write down all of the things that you could do with knowledge that you have. Remember, break out the comfort zone. Whatever you do, DO NOT stifle yourself by entering ANY REASON why you could not do these things. Just jot them down. For right now, simply make a list of any and everything that you can imagine someone doing with the knowledge that you have listed on the first list. If it is easier for you, pretend the knowledge list is for someone else that you care about succeeding in life. What would be all the opportunities that you would like to show them. Take a week to do it, if you can. Keep coming back to it.

Now, take a look at the list you just created and pat yourself on the back. You have just determined that there are many options for you out there. The situation is not as bleak as it may have appeared. It is not a fix, but it is a solid start to opportunities and hopefully has opened the door to discussion. You can now realize that you are a valuable person with a knowledgebase waiting to be tapped into. The question at this point is whether you are a person who is afraid of a little work or one who rolls up his or her sleeves when things need to be done.

Talk about these ideas with your friends. You may find a calling for something on your list. You may find friends and acquaintances that can offer you even more ideas. You may have some specific knowledge that just isn’t out there and find that others are willing to pay for that knowledge. I am drawn to a website that most of us have used probably many times. It is the search engine, About.com . If you have ever been on that site, then you know that each subject area is written by people like you and me and offers valuable information. They are always looking to expand areas that they don’t cover right now. Maybe your area or skills are one of them.

You know, I realize that it takes a lot more than a blog posting to help someone get back on their feet after the loss of the job. It takes a lot of inner strength. Some folks have a real tough time during these periods in our lives. If you know someone in this situation, please reassure them that when one door closes another one opens. Support them to get back on their feet with actions of a permanent nature over temporary fixes. Encourage them not to crawl into a bottle and get them help if they need it. Show them they have value beyond what they may see at present. And help lead them toward their future successes. You will be glad you did and glad that you provided a Service Above Self.