Picking up after job loss

O.K. You’re out of work. You are not bringing any money into your life and you are feeling like a failure. Before we go any further, give yourself a break! If this fits your current situation, then you are probably pretty tense right now. Make yourself comfortable in your chair (or wherever you may be right now). Take a deep breath. Let it out. Shake it off. And let’s read on and see what we can do.

Did you know that most people never keep the same job forever? There is a growing population of people who change jobs several times in the life of their workforce careers. Whether they don’t like to stick with one type of job or they find themselves ever evolving with the changes of the world’s workforce, some people work with their professional radar constantly set for the next conquest. Now, that’s O.K. for some. However, for others, especially those of the older generation, landing that one job and clinging to it for “as long as it lets you”, provides that sense of security needed to keep you going. When you lose that job, it can seem somewhat devastating. I was taught about “Grief and Loss” years ago. I was a counselor for military substance abuse patients and “Grief and Loss” was one of my lectures which I facilitated discussion among patients, many going through these spots of depression which led them to alcohol abuse and other substances. While we reflected upon “Grief and Loss”, we learned from our group discussions and from many studies and literature out there, that for men the “loss of a job” can be the most devastating issue for them to deal with. It can generate feelings of failure, helplessness, and utter loss of self. Is that you? Is that someone you know? O.K. We’ve taken that first step of “awareness”.

What can a person do in that situation? What can others do to help?

Well, at this point, we probably realize that a problem is before us and we need to do something about it. If you are a person in this situation, then you need to make some choices. The first choice that you must make is the choice to not be a victim of your own actions. Woah! That sounds like a pretty loud statement, huh? Let me explain it. It is really not as insensitive as it seems. What I mean by not becoming a victim of your own actions is simply not getting wrapped up in too much self-pity to the point where you are no longer capable to handling the pressure. The pressure that we apply to ourselves more than others apply to us. In order to make it through this period of your life, you really need clarity. You need to have the ability to take advantage of opportunities that may come your way. Drinking too much steals the clarity from you and generally takes “the bottle” to a place where it is less than a social event, but more of an escape. Not saying go cold turkey, but during this period of time, you may want to consider a little less while you are fishing for opportunities. It makes you more approachable to those who may want to help and ensures that you maintain control while you are searching. If you are a friend of someone in this situation, the thing that you can offer more than any loans, free beers, or other temporary fixes, is listening to your friend’s concerns, supporting any new ideas they may have by providing them “true and honest” feedback (don’t just agree, you are not really helping them), and gear all of your support towards ways that they can help themselves. We caretakers generally have the immediate desire to rally the troops and pick that person up and hold them there until they can walk again, so to speak. That is all good, but the most help a person can give to another person is open door of opportunity where the person has the ability of “self-accomplishment”.

Alright, now look at the financial situation. Are you at a place in your life where you must work to survive? Are you at a place in your life that you can survive without a job by cutting bills, eating out a little less, stop smoking, etc. etc.? All that is implied here is for you to question whether or not you have a firm grasp on your financial situation. I know people who work, have always worked, and just think that it is the normal thing they are supposed to do. They become oblivious to their complete financial health as long as they keep brining money in. Some of them actually have enough money that don’t even have to work. It can be a big pill to swallow when you reach the point when you either can’t do the job because of an injury or reach that age where the job changes and you don’t change with it resulting in leaving your job. Even some folks who still feel that they need to work to survive, may find that with a little financial strategies and cutting back, they can still live comfortably. Imagine the freedom knowing that you can live comfortably and then if you want to take on a new job later at your own pace, you can without the urgency of survival. Only you know your own situation. We’ll talk about money more specifically in another posting. There is an author out there with a series of great books regarding personal finance. David Bach has many books but there are two that I have enjoyed the most. I have seriously enjoyed them because they were easy to read and written in a way to talk to me and not over my head.
The Automatic Millionaire (David Bach)
Start Late, Finish Rich – A No-Fail Plan for Achieving Financial Freedom At Any Age (David Bach)

Also, if you are a computer person, there is a website that I enjoy and listen to their weekly podcast online: MyWealthMatters.com . Jeff Wright and Leslie Perry are two extremely down to earth people. They answer emails regarding personal finance questions. From life situations like job loss to specific areas of concern. They really know what they are doing and they convey that in their shows.

So, you’ve look at your financial situation and determined that you must have another job. Now you have determine what you can do. If you are a person who left your job because of an injury and illness that has left you unable to perform like you used to then it is time to reevaluate your “professional profile”. Everyday, we see news stories or hear about folks who have been challenged by life situations and overcome the many various shortcomings because they acquire a vision, a positive attitude, and are not afraid to take action. We see folks who lose an arm or a leg, lose eyesight or hearing, and many other afflictions, but through their personal perseverance and individual choices overcome these situations and are a true testament to the human spirit. So, what makes a person who loses their job any different? That is the key and goes back to what I was talking about when I mentioned being a victim of ourselves. Remember, taking no action is a choice in itself and therefore, it is an action.

Alright, the professional profile. What skills or knowledge (your strengths) do you have right now? Seriously, sit down with a piece of paper and brainstorm. Make a list. You may surprise yourself. Go back as far as you can and look at what you have learned in life. Don’t trick yourself by thinking ahead and not putting everything down. Just list them as you can think of them. By specific. Don’t put broad topics like job titles, put down skills that you are confident that you know. When you are done, take a look at it. You can add more later, but right now reflect upon what you know. If you have been honest and completed this exercise as I have written it, you probably are sitting there with a long list of your skills. You should be proud!

Now, guess what? Go through that list and highlight the items on that list that you feel that you can no longer accomplish in your present condition. Don’t worry! You are not eliminating these skills. They are within you and the knowledge you have of them stays with you. Go ahead. Highlight those.

O.K. If you’ve done that, I want you to look at those specific items. You have the knowledge, but you can not physical accomplish the tasks for those items. But, could you train anyone else to do those tasks? Could you write out a step-by-step plan to accomplish those items? Do you have enough knowledge of those skills to continue to improve how they are done or the resources used to accomplish them, even if you don’t physically do the task anymore? Now we have done that for two reasons. The first is the easiest, the ones not highlighted are your set of skills that you can use to start combing the help wanted section of the newspaper or online. Yep, it can lead to many applications and pounding the pavement to just get a job to keep things going. Or, you may land a better job depending upon the effort you put into it.

The other reason is to get a vision of what knowledge you have and the vast possibilities before you. Guess what? You are developing a possible new career. Knowledge is like a bank. There is always someone looking to tap into it. It is a matter of how and where you decide to make your knowledge available. You could write a book. Nowadays, you can almost publish for free with online companies like Cafepress.com and so forth. You could write a blog like this one that you are reading right now. You can teach. You can manage and come up with your own workforce. It doesn’t really have to be you turning the wrench or hammering the nail or typing the document and so forth. You have the techniques and the knowledge. You can share it with others. Of course, these are only suggested ideas. I agree for most, it is a scary place when you leave that “comfort zone” that came with that everyday routine of your past career. But, the rewards are so great if you step out of that zone and focus yourself on making things happen. Call it your next chapter. Not your recent setback.

With that in mind, take your previous list and do one more list. Come on! What have you got to lose? Put the previous list on the table with you because you will be looking it over several times while you do this one. With a fresh, new piece of paper, write down all of the things that you could do with knowledge that you have. Remember, break out the comfort zone. Whatever you do, DO NOT stifle yourself by entering ANY REASON why you could not do these things. Just jot them down. For right now, simply make a list of any and everything that you can imagine someone doing with the knowledge that you have listed on the first list. If it is easier for you, pretend the knowledge list is for someone else that you care about succeeding in life. What would be all the opportunities that you would like to show them. Take a week to do it, if you can. Keep coming back to it.

Now, take a look at the list you just created and pat yourself on the back. You have just determined that there are many options for you out there. The situation is not as bleak as it may have appeared. It is not a fix, but it is a solid start to opportunities and hopefully has opened the door to discussion. You can now realize that you are a valuable person with a knowledgebase waiting to be tapped into. The question at this point is whether you are a person who is afraid of a little work or one who rolls up his or her sleeves when things need to be done.

Talk about these ideas with your friends. You may find a calling for something on your list. You may find friends and acquaintances that can offer you even more ideas. You may have some specific knowledge that just isn’t out there and find that others are willing to pay for that knowledge. I am drawn to a website that most of us have used probably many times. It is the search engine, About.com . If you have ever been on that site, then you know that each subject area is written by people like you and me and offers valuable information. They are always looking to expand areas that they don’t cover right now. Maybe your area or skills are one of them.

You know, I realize that it takes a lot more than a blog posting to help someone get back on their feet after the loss of the job. It takes a lot of inner strength. Some folks have a real tough time during these periods in our lives. If you know someone in this situation, please reassure them that when one door closes another one opens. Support them to get back on their feet with actions of a permanent nature over temporary fixes. Encourage them not to crawl into a bottle and get them help if they need it. Show them they have value beyond what they may see at present. And help lead them toward their future successes. You will be glad you did and glad that you provided a Service Above Self.

Shipmate goes ashore: Stew retires!

Well, it is official! SASMC's Author has finally done it. On Friday, February 9th, YNC(SS) Anthony Stewart, United States Navy retired from Naval Service and shifted to Tony Stewart, Retired Navy Chief! At the urging of a few friends, the transcript of my retirement speech is posted here. It was an emotional day, but an inspiring day of friendship, comraderie, pride, and a tremendous amount of brotherly love. The ceremony was held at the USS Roncador (SS-301) Memorial at Naval Submarine Base Point Loma. Family, Friends, and Shipmates from all parts of the country in attendance. The following was the remarks:

"Commander Schwalm, Commander Wilson, crew of the USS HELENA and Submarine Squadron ELEVEN, family, and friends

Commander Schwalm and Nate, thank you for you kind words today!

Well… here we are … you and me…

You know I have been a part of many retirements in my 20 year career. From being a member of the color guard to flag passer to sideboy to guest speaker and, of course, admin support for most of them. I would be kidding myself and you to say that those occasions prepared me for today’s ceremony. In the past few days as well as today, I have come to terms with so many emotions, reflections on the past, and wrestled with this thick layer of doubt that always questions whether or not I have really completed my mission here. Have I done all that I could do.

You know, most of us walk through life with some sort of blinders on related to certain things here and there, but usually the one thing that we each know is ourself. I have learned of myself that I will always have a part of me that feels that the mission could have been done a little better, I could’ve helped someone out a little more, or maybe there was just one more stone left unturned.

In this past year, I have went through some medical setbacks, including a surgical procedure and recovered. Knowing of my retirement, I have been blessed over the last 6 to 8 months with kind words from many of my fellow yeoman and chiefs as well as other shipmates from my past. It is through the pride I feel when I see the men that they are or have become that truly gives me hope and a satisfaction beyond words.

I stand here with a little more clarity knowing I don’t have to be here to complete the mission. A clarity that I wish to share. You see, the mission didn’t start with you and me and the mission won’t end with us either. The mission began way before I was ever here. The mission began with men like my father who showed me right from wrong so that I could pass that on to other men and women in my care. The mission began with men and women who served long before i was even brought into this world by my mother in their struggles and convictions to peace and the vision of a greater world. The mission began long before me and will go on long after I depart today, long after you depart tomorrow. So what’s is it all about. The real mission to me is service above self. Since 1990, I have adopted the same mantra that I have tried to live by. My guys all know it well:

“You can have everything you want in life, as long as you are willing to help enough other people get what they want.”

Today, it might look like it is my turn, but you know the way I see it today it is our turn. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for people like each and every one of you here and many more. And the cycle continues. For this brief moment where you have blessed me, I say thank you!

At this time I would like to recognize a few individuals:

To Commander Schwalm. Thank you for your kind words and having this ceremony on my behalf.

To my friends Nate Shatto and Lieutenant Almond Smith. I thank both of you for your continuous support throughout my career.

The HELENA Chiefs Quarters. your unified strength and support were invaluable to me and have given some fond memories to cherish forever.

The Submarine Squadron ELEVEN Staff, especially my friends in admin. You allowed me to still contribute even during a time when medical setbacks had run me down to parade rest. Because of you, I have recovered and will leave the navy with a clean bill of health.

To all the extremely talented yeoman that I have had the pleasure of serving with these years. Some of which are here today: Yeoman Chief Stephen Sauer, Yeoman First Class Michael Smith, Yeoman Second Class James Barnes, Yeoman Second Class Dusty McCue, Yeoman Third Class Joe Hyde. As well as the many others who have contacted throughout these past weeks.

My Drug and Alcohol Counseling family. Thank you for showing me that a navy leader can still lead with unswerving compassion, a powerful knowledge of the human condition, and a drive to help!

My Uncle Woody Becker and Aunt Cheryl who traveled from San Francisco to share this day with me. Woody served onboard the USS RANGER and USS INTREPID. Woody, I thank you for your service. Yesterday I gave him a print of the USS SAN FRANCISCO so that he can take back a little submarine pride with him when he returns to San Francisco.

To my parents, Wade and Nancy Lockhart, who traveled from Oberlin, Kansas to be with us today. I am the man I am by the grace of their unshakeable dedication and unconditional understanding. Today I would like to present you both with these tokens of your commitment to me.

Mom. Please accept this crystal plaque entitled “Thank you, Mom!” And these flowers. Thank you for always being there for me!

Dad. For those of you who don’t know, my dad is a police officer. Please present my father his gift. The gift is a statue of a police officer. The inscription reads: To Wade Lockhart upon the navy retirement of his son YNC(SS) Anthony Stewart, Thank you for leading the way!

To my daughters, Zaia and Shana who are here today. My daughter, Amber who wasn’t able to make the trip but is with us in spirit. I thank you for giving me a family built on true love, care, and understanding. I love you girls!

My daughter, Kristine, who is the person who has been there through it all and whose heart strings have always been just long enough and strong enough to let me stay navy and serve my country with a bountiful port of love to always return to! I love you, baby!

My wife, Teri. Thank you for being my anchor. For showing me true, unconditional love, a caring fire, and a spirit that inspires me each and every day. I look forward to our next chapter together.

In closing, I appreciate you being with me today.

Today, I look to you to continue the mission.

Through you, the mission goes on.

Through you, the mission remains, Service Above Self!

Thank you!"