Stolen Valor will never overshadow those who act in Service Above Self

On this blog, I observe and put out ways that readers can act in efforts that are “Service Above Self” efforts for the common good. Today, I came across a video on-demand from an ABC News Story that grabbed my attention and reminded me of the other side of the fence where perpetrators of selfish acts that con, scam, hustle, and so forth stain the acts of those who try to live their lives under the banner of “Service Above Self”. So, let’s categorize this article as my rant on “Stolen Valor”. Let start with the video. Here it is.



In all walks of life there are folks who portray themselves as something they are not for personal gain. We see it on the political front all the time. Politicians, within all political parties, that take a connection to something military and attempt to “spin it” with a political paintbrush that makes it appear that they were at the tip of the spear or carried the sweat of battle only to dig a little deeper and find out that they were not all that they elude to be. However, these gentlemen shown in the video are definite criminals in my book. The last one in the video, the 23 year old, who never even completed boot camp and attempted to parlay his extremely limited experience in camouflage into an elaborate tale of the negatives of war in order to feed his “anti-war” sentiment is definitely the worst. The saddest part of it is that the fact he participated in boot camp, despite his feeble inability to complete, shows that he probably isn’t even passionate about his “so called” anti-war message and is merely looking for fame on the back of the others who served. Truly sad. Here is a pretty good ripping of the last guy’s credentials from HotAir.com. I like how it plays out in the end. A little disclaimer is in order: I never take anything that anyone posts as complete 100% fact. I am sure that HotAir.com has other topics and such that do not align with my beliefs. That being said, this individual video is a noteworthy discussion of the guy in the first video from ABC.



When I was a substance abused counselor for the Navy, I saw guys spin all kinds of yarns in order to acquire services that they thought they wouldn’t have otherwise received. Truly sad. And, frankly some had perpetuated the tales for so long that it appeared “clinically” that they began to believe their own stories. Of course, we fished and got the facts as part of the process, but I did see this more than once. It just showed me the real sadness of it. Hustlers or scammers are in every corner of our world and there is no difference here. Whether it is an attempt to justify a political stance, undeserved financial gain, or just unwarranted status in the world, the insecurities and negative drive of these people brings out the worst.

Now, you can’t think about these acts without looking closer to home and possible things that go on around us. Without going off the deep end and commencing a surveillance mission regarding the service credentials of everyone we interact with, why not start out with the behavior. The ironic question is… do we float around folks who tout ribbons, medals, and campaigns that they haven’t earned or took part in? Probably. Is it any different? We may know these people and consider them “good people” based on all their other traits and probably find their rants harmless. However, it is really not any different. The difference is in how we handle it. Should we call them on it? Yes. But, there is a kind way to do it. Remember, the point is to stop the behavior or action and not to use their mistakes as a personal tool to place ourselves above them. That just makes us look bad for attacking them when there might be a piece of information that we have missed. Give them a chance to prove it. If they can’t prove it and persist, then, of course, subtle peer pressure might be the key. Nowadays, thanks to the “information superhighway” or shall we say the “galactic information spaceway” you can get military records, listing of awards and medals, and many other bits of information online. On the personal front, I have met several guys like this in my life and what I tend to do is simply be aware. The truth usually unravels itself in conversations with those who have earned the merits, given of themselves, and have been there.

You know I would be remiss if I didn’t mention an incident I was part of where I saw how these things can play out in these casual discussions. I was once (sort of) on the other side. I was approached by a person who attempted to “put me in check”, so to speak, only to find out in further discussion that the dispute was easily cleared up and got totally blown out of proportion. We were both in the military and he “outranked” me and it really appeared that his approach was more of a front to make himself look better than it was to clear up an error. I call those moments “insecurity alerts” when I see folks take advantage of things in an obvious attempt to catapult themselves to a higher position because they do not appear comfortable with their own self. Oh well…The guy had a need and he thought he found it by interjecting in my conversation and trying to put pressure on me for something that he wasn’t really on top of himself. In the end, the guy took the worst end of it, because he came at me with such forceful and offensive behavior instead of striking up a conversation with a simple, “Hey, bud! Did I hear you right?” and seeking out the facts which could have cleared it up before he embarrassed himself. Unfortunately, the guy was so embarrassed by the incident that he quit coming to the establishment that we had seen each other at for years until I saw him at the base and asked him to stop back by. I could have really overacted over the incident and took offense and all that stuff, but in the end, it just wasn’t that important to lash back. I think he probably conducts himself quite different in those situations now. I remember the situation because it was a growth experience and others associated with me at that time spoke of it as well.

Although, these “closer to home” examples are similar situations, the people depicted in the video at the beginning of the article are on the gross end of the scale and really need to be put in check. In my opinion, they need to be handled in a manner that bruises their pocketbook or shames them into never doing it again and becoming an example for others. The guys portrayed on the video really take things to a whole new level. I am sure that their charisma and rapport with those around them presented them in a fashion where they could probably have pulled off any identity fraud that they chose. The “anti-war” guy was really disheartening and I am sure that he will live to regret his “performance” for years to come.

So, what is the moral? What’s the point? What can we do?

- Be aware. Hustlers and scammers exist, they will use whatever they can to achieve their goals and get what they want, even if it takes posing at phony war vets.
- Discuss service credentials openly. If someone mentions something that doesn’t seem right, ask them about it.
- Pass the word! If they persist to misrepresent themselves, let others know.
- Question credentials! If a person uses service credentials for financial contributions or support beyond good deeds, to name a few, you have the right to verify those credentials and should do so.
- Report them! If they are grossly fraudulent and are committing a criminal act of fraud, then turn them in for the criminal act.
- Don’t let the actions of others deter you from acts in “Service Above Self”!

Further readings about “Stolen Valor” can be found at the following sites that I found interesting:

• Stolen Valor - How the Vietnam Generation Was Robbed of its Heroes and History (Quick Guide to Obtaining Military Records)


• Stolen Valor Act or 2005 - Excellent site with lots of info! See the proposed Congressional Bill and who supports it!

My September 11th Rant... Good Deeds & Positive Thoughts to Show Our Strength!

Friends,

September 11th is nearing. Are you ready? Will the day just come and go? Will you look towards tragedy or gratitude and which will drive you through the day?

Reflections. One of the first entries I made in this blog was related to September 11th after 5 years and all the reflections that were taking place and the stand that some folks were making. If you would like to revisit that article, click here. September 11th will always be a fateful day in our history, where we as a nation, were violated from within. Taken by surprise, stripped of our “untouchable” presence in the world, and emotionally held hostage while it all unfolded. It is hard to believe that it happened, even to this day. Personally, I will never forget that time in my life even though I was on the opposite coast of the immediate tragedies. Where were you? I was still in the Navy and working for the Substance Abuse Treatment Center located at Point Loma, San Diego, helping care for residential patients dealing with their substance abuse issues. We happened to have a TV in one of the offices and we watched the events happen. We were all counselors trained in understanding emotional and behavioral issues and I think we learned a great deal about our own internal make-up that day. The following days were challenging to say the least. I was a senior person at work charged with some duties of patient care and assisting with oversight for a 7 story building. Only one third of the military were able to be there at work the following day and none of the civilian employees where allowed on base at all. I literally got a work out that day from answering phones and going throughout the building to ensure all was in good order and the patients were being taken care of. Not to mention it took an hour just get on the base. Other staff members started to trickle in on the following days, but digging into my work was the therapeutic process for me at that time. I didn’t have time to reflect at all. I stuck with dealing with the elements affecting others. It has been sometime since that day and I have taken it all in the best that I can. Since that time, I have accepted that it happened and moved forward. I went through a period of complete sorrow for the pain of others that were more attached to the locations and people directly affected, but many of them have grown into stronger souls in their own right and have inspired me to move forward. If you would like to take a few moments to reflect, here is a good website, September 11th.

Good Deeds = Good Vibes = Healthy for the Soul. Some folks are already geared up to put out their flags... but what about using just a few more minutes… probably just a couple at that… to do something positive. There is a new movement just for this occasion called “My Good Deeds” powered by Volunteer Match, Network for Good, Points of Light Foundation , & other organizations who have been putting out good vibes for years and are combining forces this year. MyGoodDeed.org asks that you “pledge” a good deed. It gives you ideas and ways to do good deeds and allows you to come up with ways on your own as well. You can have your own ideas posted (or not posted). The bottom line is that there is a concentrated focus on bringing out the best of us on that day.

Positive thoughts bring about positive results. Some say that our thoughts alone put out a powerful energy. The whole concept is much more scientific information than I can comprehend or even want to read about. But, this type of “intention manifestation” is the subject of one of the biggest best selling books called, “The Secret” and it stems from thinking that positive thoughts can send positive energy out for positive effects. I won’t bore you on the details that I read or I won’t even try to sound like I am an expert in the subject… the information is out there, the book is a great read for those who believe we are all more than a lump… but I really don’t think trying to send out positive thoughts that day could hurt either. I am going to do it. I am going to start my day with a cup of coffee and by making a list of those things that I am grateful for. I am going to write down about 5 things that I would like to see better in the world and call them my “wants”. Then, I am going to start the day fresh with a positive outlook. What could it hurt? Right now as you read this, I am attempting to send you a positive message... how am I doing? ;)

No time for political spinning that day. On that day, there will be many politicians who will focus on the events of 9/11 in order to sway a vote and they will be coming out in full force. They will use the backdrop of tragedy to profess they have a better plan for the world or tug at our heartstrings to find their place in our heart as a compassionate soul worthy of our vote. On that day, I don’t think they will get much of my attention as I will be focused on the positive and political strategies are designed to have you focus on the negatives and weaknesses in world. I am sticking with the positive and the strength that we have as a nation and as a people.

Negativity is not the choice that day. There will be many folks who will dwell on the heartache that day and generally it is because that is all they see. Possibly because they are experiencing some sort of heartache in their life or because they have a hard time finding positive in the world at all. Sometimes it is just because all some folks see is “what is in it for me?” and it drives everything they hear, everything they see, and everything they do. Bless their heart it is not their fault, they probably grew up with the thought process. There is nothing wrong with celebrating the life of people lost on that day or remembering the events of the tragedy, but would you want people to remember you and focus on sorrow? Or, would you want those left behind to never forget, learn from the tragedy, and make it stand for something that has affected each of us in a positive way? I know folks just like this and they don’t see it, but it comes out in almost everything they say and do. It generally is the reason why things are not going so well for them, because they don’t take the time to see the things that are going well. It is a fact of life and some folks live in it every day. So, I say re-evaluate your thought process and see if you are one of those folks. It is easier than you think. Sometimes it starts with a smile. Remember my first blog entry discovering the powerful aspects of a smile? Go back and check it out.

I am going to put my soapbox away for now, but I challenge you to think positive thoughts on September 11th, fly your flag proudly, turn off the politician’s rhetoric for a day, and focus on some good deeds that can help others and display the true positive strength that we have as Americans. It is my plan and I when I lay my head down that night regardless of what the day brings, I will rest easy knowing that I made an honest effort toward the good. Good intentions either way. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist background to realize that if one good thing comes from it, then it is well worth the efforts... even the thoughts and the smiles.

Celebrate life! We are all in it and we are all doing it one day at a time!

Have a great day and stay positive!

Your Friend,

Stew, aka "Tony"

eBay-ers Can Give Back While They Are Selling!

Recently, I came across a great organization while doing some eBay dealings online. The company is called MissionFish and you can learn more about them at there website located at http://www.missionfish.org/ OR through eBay's "Giving Works" program under the eBay Community area (Home > Community > eBay Giving Works ).

Let me kick this off by adding that this is not a commercial for eBay and I have nothing to do with them other than I use the service on occasion to buy and sell things. Most recently, I sold some items that I turned into cash for another charitable contribution to another organization. Just my way of trying to turn something into something food for charity. But, that is not what this article is about.

The message is to show you a way that you can give to others while you are focusing on selling through eBay (or whatever company or online service you use). If you are a person who sells things online, then doing it this way can also bring like-minded, good-hearted people to your product. Here is how it works.

Through Mission Fish, you can designate a particular percentage of the sale to go to a charity of your choice from the list of organization that use Mission Fish to assist them. Like for example, I tend to use "Operation Homefront" which is an organization that benefits military families. Here is their data:

The mission of Operation Homefront is to provide assistance with day to day issues for military families facing adversity so that deployed service members are not preoccupied by the crises at home and can focus on the War against Terrorism.Location: San Diego, CA 92120Web address: http://www.operationhomefront.net/

OK. So that is one of the charities I contribute to through Mission Fish, but that doesn't mean you have to choose them. There are many charities to choose from. Their information is provided through the Nationally acclaimed organization called, "Points of Light Foundation & Volunteer Center National Network". Here is their information for those who like to investigate things:

MissionFish and the Points of Light FoundationMissionFish is provided as a service to the nonprofit community by the Points of Light Foundation & Volunteer Center National Network. The Points of Light Foundation is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to engaging people and resources more effectively in volunteer service to help solve serious social problems. The organization collaborates and partners with community leaders to better recruit, manage and encourage volunteers to effect real change.To learn more about Points of Light Foundation programs, initiatives, and resources for leaders of volunteers, call or visit www.PointsofLight.org. To connect to volunteer opportunities in your community, visit 1-800-Volunteer.org.

Alright. So you now get the picture. But, here is the kicker. If you associate yourself with this giving experience, a shocking thing happens. You actual receive a marketing plus in that your products that you sell get featured on Mission Fish's website and your items get a little charity symbol associated with your listing on eBay. So, folks who see your good intentions are drawn to buy your products over those who are merely out to fill their own pockets. And it is like money you don't miss because if you set the percentage to like 10% the amount automatically comes out of the purchase price of the auction. The more people that are drawn to your item, the more auction bids come in to drive up the purchase price and then the more goes to charity. You achieve your initial goal of getting rid of that item and making some money, but you finish the scenario with a good feeling that you have also helped out others. I have used it 4 times so far and I really think it was the reason why my products sold over the other ones that were identical to mine. Auction bidders knew that I was turning the profit into charitable contributions for others. A definite win-win situation for everyone! Give it a try the next time you decide to buy or sell with eBay. After all, Giving Works! I am sure that other auction services will be using this service in the near future as well.